Japanese underdog Hujo Assimoto provides a stunning end to the final Sumo match on Sunday by delivering to his nemesis the most difficult manuever in all of Sumo....the dreaded Reverse Wedgie Hoist. 

Sandra Beth Geisel, a teacher at Christian Brothers Academy in Colonie, New York was arrested for having sex with 4 juvenile boys from her class. Father Phil McCreviss said that he can't blame the youngsters because she is a babe, and he can't blame her either because he nailed those same 4 boys last year.

On a side note the Colonie NY Police Chief said that he has installed video cameras in her cell as part of her "suicide watch" status; and that if the public would like to help him monitor her safety (especially at changing times and shower times) they can log on to the police website at www.hot-for-teacher.com for $7.00 a minute. All proceeds from the website will be donated to the HCLDF - Hot Chicks Legal Defense Fund.

The acronym TILF should now be used to describe women like this...in accordance with the prophecy.

99% of the men surveyed completely missed the fact that there was a naked Santa Claus holding a flag in this picture.

NASA's safety and structure committee met today to discuss solutions to the now routine episodes of foam falling off the shuttle at launch. So far their best idea is to stop making parts of the space shuttle out of Nerf .

Tibetan monks complain to the World Olympic Committee that they should be spotted 80 points per match as it is a real bitch to bowl wearing this dress.  

USA diver Chelsea Davis pays tribute to Greg Louganis during her last dive of the Olympic finals. 

Former middle school teacher Debra LaFave goes on trial today for having sex with a seventh grade student. The prosecution had difficulty gaining access to the building due to the massive protest put on outside the court house by the Organization of the 6th Grade Boys of America demanding her release.  

In an effort to give the other riders a fair chance Lance Armstrong has decided to finish the Tour de France wearing a long horns helmet and pulling a huge Texas flag behind his bike.  

Major League Baseball is at a loss to explain how they are losing ratings to womens beach volleyball. Mike Piazza says "I just don't get it, I mean, I'm flashing the same hand signals they are, it should be just as exciting to watch" 

The first annual Narcoleptics in the Park conference got off to a bad start.... 

This is how they ride the bulls in the gay rodeo. 

The man that inspired the Tom Hanks hit movie "Castaway" was washed ashore in Florida by Hurricane Dennis over the weekend. Authorities couldn't confirm the whereabouts of Wilson.  

As Hurricane Dennis approaches we get a rare opportunity to observe natural selection in progress.  

If God ever had to wipe his butt I bet he'd use this.  

Players on the PGA tour are petitioning the association for more amenities on the course. Player frustrations peaked after Brandt Jobe couldn't even drop a duece near hole 5 without a crowd of fans critiquing his performance. 

The space shuttle waits on the launch pad at Cape Canaveral Florida. NASA says they plan to launch it as soon as they can find 7 volunteers that didn't see what happened to the last one.  

The Cardinals introduce the leagues first openly gay right fielder..seen here showing off by catching fly balls with his ass.  

Taking a play from the tabacco industry playbook, MP3 manufacturers are trying to win consumers over at younger and younger ages. 

Attempting to cash in on the annual fervor surrounding the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, the Japanese city of Osaka is having its first ever Running of the Mazdas. 

Small arenas across Europe are experiencing somewhat of a renaissance in the beautiful sport of Synchronized Bull Vaulting.