DAMN! Where did they find ski masks in Iraq! I bet they had to special order those...no way they have them in stock. 

Saddam reacts to news that Bill Cowher might be leaving the Steelers. He said he's already had so much emotional strain since his hanging verdict, and walking to the gallows thinking of a post Cowher era for the Steelers is just too much to bear.

The godfather of soul has left us. It really came as a surprise because his doctors had just asked him how he felt and he said "I feel good!"  

Now we know why it's called the Nutcracker on ice. 

Field hockey...a sport for girls that are too ugly to play ice hockey.  

Janitors at Wimbledon accidentally hypnotize the entire crowd inbetween matches. 

Ahhh the traditional sign of luck in the coming new year...a mouse humping a toad.  

Wow. I don't know what is more amazing...the fact that the chair hasn't broken...or the fact that she can almost fit a whole folding chair in her butt crack. 

After fighting the New York Nets to a draw the Denver Nuggets hired an NHL consultant and picked up long time thug Allen Iverson in a trade this week. Denvers coach told us "Look...Iverson will provide strenth in our point guard spot, he'll bring a level of experience to the team and we hope he'll be able to teach our players how to fight because that deal with the New York was just plain embarrassing." 

Tara Conner, from Miss USA to Miss TNA in two days.

The military has expanded the use of dogs to the point that they are an integral part of the scout/sniper system. Tom Reid, the dogs handler/partner says the dogs do have a few drawbacks "His heavy breathing gets to be annoying at times, he frequently takes a dump in our hiding spot, and about half the time he puts me on a cat rather than a legitimate military target...I think he thinks thats funny."  

Tara Conner...former Miss USA...stripped of her title over drug and sex rumors. It's like the old saying goes...You can't spell "promiscuous" without "USA".  

Inspired by the true story of Def Leopards one armed drummer, Olympic pommel horse champion Mike Trallis has his hopes dashed in his first comeback attempt since losing his own arm last year.  

Tara Conner will have to go before Donald Trump to see if she gets to keep her Miss America title after being caught drinking underage. My bet is that this meeting will lead to more underage drinking and if Trump has anything to say about it, most likely a healthy dose of pre-marital sex as well.  

Researchers studying Cormorant nests in Southern California find that 9 out of 10 American men in a recent survey can tell which is the female bird without any help at all.

Mexico introduces a new track and field sport for the next olympics. This is the "Border Run and Jump" in which participants have to jump a simulated wall, cross a simulated river, then run like hell to avoid the race officials who try to catch them before the reach the finish line; if caught they have to start over. 

According to the Chicago Bulls front office the new scoreboard with a giant high-definition plasma TV above center court proves to be too much of a distraction and will be removed. "These guys take a shot then look up...they make a play and they look up...it's getting to be absurd".

Jets guard Brandon Moor missed the entire second half of Monday nights game due to very localized and very heavy fog. The Jets meteorologist said that much like Mt. Everest, Moors head is so massive that it creates its own weather system. 

After taking the house and senate the Democrats are making Bush raise his hand and wait to be called on before he can speak in congress.