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Friday, May 30, 2008

Scooter riders are going to great lengths to convince themselves that they're not girlie men.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

NASA has put it's 3rd robotic spacecraft on Mars, which is funny because for a group that claims UFO's don't exist they sure seem to be launching a lot of them.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

After years of conflicting studies doctors now say they are preeeettty damn sure that alcohol does NOT kill cancer cells.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Strapped for cash, assisted living centers across the country are making the elderly fight to determine who receives the limited prescription drugs they have available.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

In an effort to boost 2nd quarter sales Apple says if everyone buys an IPOD this month they'll take the next picture without it.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Abdul displays the new Summer-weight Jihad Mask (with nose slit). Insurgents across the middles east say you sacrifice some anonymity but it's much more comfortable than the old model. American snipers enjoy the mask as well because the nose slit allows for easier alignment of the vertical scope reticle.
Horses everywhere revolt over the treatment of Eight Belles at the Kentucky Derby.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

TPC Afghanistan. "We can't play the back nine anymore due to landmines, there's usually a sniper on Hole 3, and I wouldn't play the Par 5 hole without air support, but you can always get a tee time."

Monday, May 05, 2008

In an effort to make horse racing more exciting and "gladiator-like" the Kentucky Derby has begun killing the 2nd place finisher in front of the crowd.

Friday, May 02, 2008

The rowed like this for 4 hours before they figured out why they weren't getting anywhere.
Justin Timberlake sings for help as an old, STD infested, ho-bag Madonna throws him into the wall and grinds her privates on him. Timberlake said during counselling afterward "I'm in this to hit the younger demographic is 18 to 25...and based on what I felt up against my leg...Madonna might be a man."