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Thursday, March 30, 2006


Given the recent uprising by illegal immigrants in our country I thought a brief analysis of the options our country has regarding this issue might be in order. First I thought maybe we could just give them southern California, but the real estate and the weather are far too nice for that option, plus we'd have to move a lot of our military bases and hardware which would involve a lot of logistics, time and money, and we're way too lazy for that.

While I was thinking about moving our military, I thought why don't we just move a portion of our military to Mexico? After all there is no fence, or big ditch to stop us. Furthermore there probably isn't much of a Mexican military to oppose us since every Mexican of war-fighting age is already in LA, Chicago, Denver, Florida or suburban DC. The actual process of annexing Mexico would be a cake walk.

That idea got me thinking about the economic ramifications of annexing our southerly neighbor.

Costs:

About $1,300 in fuel expenses for the invasion force (Texas has volunteered to do it alone, and estimates it should take roughly six hours)
Mexican Labor wouldn't be cheap anymore b/c they'd now be American labor

Benefits:

No passport needed to visit Cancun
Cheap Tequila (not sure if this is a cost or a benefit)
The flip side of Mexican labor now being American labor is we can now tax them.
No more problems with NAFTA
No more illegal aliens, they'd now have a right to be here
We'd have a 51st state. "Newer Mexico"
Fewer Sally Struthers commercials with starving villagers (20% of her work was in Mexico)
More ports for sport-fishing
We could shrink the border patrol as the southern border would be much shorter. They would only have to control the "Newer Mexico" border with Belize.
Invasion would send a clear signal to our neighbors in the "Northern Resource Area" (read Canada) that they could be next.
You wouldn't have to take Spanish in high school anymore...we'd make them take English
We'd get another national holiday..."Cinco De Mayo"
We'd get siestas at work from 10-2 o'clock
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