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Monday, December 12, 2005

Hollywood is all abuzz over the new blockbuster movie Bareback Mounting. This is a timeless story about two up and coming Hollywood actors who shoot their carreers in the chest by playing gay cowboys, and in the process give up all female fans forever, will likely have to suffer hordes of gay stalkers until the day they die, and do it all for very little money on a movie that most people will never watch. Word on the street is that their agents are now looking for work.

The jokes are never ending on this one folks. Here are a few that the Vortex has kicked out thus far:

1 - The movie theaters are now serving Fudge at the snack bar.
2 - All people buying tickets to Bareback Mounting have to go in the backdoor.
3 - The firemarshall has a problem with it because the whole theater is flaming and the back door is packed.
4 - It's unclear from the commercials if the cowboys ride the horses or just each other.
5 - Anyone wearing assless chaps gets in for free.

Please add jokes as you think of them.

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Anonymous said...

They don't call 'em cowpokes for nothing.
- Elton John -

Anonymous said...

Two thumbs up for Bareback Mounting! What the two thumbs are up I'll never say.

- George Michael -

Anonymous said...

If the crown jewels were delivered to the rear of Bareback Ranch ranch, would it be warmly received?

- Prince Charles -

Anonymous said...

I'm a cowboy,
on a cowboy I ride,
and I'm wanted...wanteeeed.
dead or alive...

- Jonathon Bon Jovi -

Anonymous said...

For Shame!! We here at the Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.) feel the pain these young actors must be experiencing when hate mongers such as yourselves call them things like "Rump Rangers" and "Cow Pokers". This type of hate will not be tolerated and in order to combat the aggresive smear campaign launched by most likely the Republican Party, we here at F.A.G. are offering free sensitivity training where we will show you what it feels like to be loved by another man. Here is what F.A.G. actors have said about our programs:

"It was hard, but it made me understand what it was like to be loved by a fellow F.A.G. member!" - Tom Hanks

"They really know how to get inside you and make you feel their pain!" - Heath Ledger

"I'll punch anyone else who tries to sensitize me down there!" - Sean Penn

We urge you to call us now to set up your appointment for F.A.G. sensitivity training. Our number in (800)FAG-PAIN

Tim Robbins