When I told you to put Jesus in the manger scene I meant the baby Jesus NOT "Jesus" from security.

Zoologists couldn't figure out how the Panda's escaped their pen until reviewing this security camera footage.

And I thought MY rush hour commute was bad. WTF?

Officials say this attack on the President came out well...only two soles were lost.

Texas representative Al Green proves that being a congressman is so easy even a caveman could do it.

If Miss SIBERIA can be this hot how can one argue against global warming?

Think about it...if you put a helmet on that you get Darth Vader.

The Obama's share a laugh at the voting booth this morning when they realize Ralph Nader still has his name on the ballot.

When they said that Watchdog Groups would be at the polls I completely misunderstood...

After all the hate mail I got over the "worlds fattest man gets married" post I thought I'd try to make up to you people...I give you...Giselle.

Forecasters are predicting a full moon for Halloween.

Worlds heaviest man gets married...and it must have been to a lesbian 'cause look at the size of his boobs.

Miss Teen Louisianna USA was ARRESTED for leaving a restaraunt without paying the $46 bill. Arrested. All I can see is a new episode of Chained Heat...and I want an autographed, unedited, directors cut version.

Brad Sciullo of Uniontown, Pa set two world records last week. The first was for eating the worlds largest burger, the other record was set 6 hours later for taking the worlds biggest dump.

Voters fearing John McCains age could play a role in the election weren't reassured when he suffered a massive but short seizure 30 seconds after the debate.

Russia unveils the most awesomely bad-ass cavalry EVER...tigers riding horses...UN-stoppable.

This is Lauriane Gilliéron, Miss Switzerland 2006. She is the reason every man on the planet should know how to say two things in French...or German...or whatever the hell it is that they speak where she's from:

1 - I'm a doctor

2 - I just need to take your temperature with this

Putin recently shot an endangered animal, had his picture taken while doing Judo, and just got a pet tiger for his birthday...he's looking more and more like one of the evil bad guys from a James Bond movie.

Megan Fox say's she once had a relationship with a female stripper named Nikita and that Olivia Wilde is so hot that she makes her want to choke a mountain ox with her bare hands. That's ironic because Megan Fox now makes most men want to choke a chicken with their bare hand.

Maintenance man Carl Rutherford says he tells these kids all the time not to ride their bike on the roof. But do they listen?