Now it's getting out of hand...the Church isn't even trying to hide their preferences anymore...and you know the old man is goin' commando under that robe.

America versus Russia...who is on the downhill slide?

Our presidents mistress (Lewinski):

THEIR presidents mistress (Foxana Hotapova):

Former Miss Universe Alicia Machado was forced to close her Twitter account this week over massive critcism she's taking from confusing North Korea and China.

Really? Who in their right mind looks to this woman for international diplomacy advice? Who would be surprised by her getting these countries confused? Who would care?

Straight people know that if a chick like this walks up to you and starts saying stupid things you just nod your head and keep her talking until you get her in bed.

Yep...we all want to do it...but big Bertha has the AUTHORITY to do it. This is the first time in my life I've ever caught myself wishing I was a fat chick.

WTF? I got kicked out of a strip club for doing this one time and this guy gets paid to do it at the airport...for the government.

Returning to our post from below...if January Jones were spying on the russians for us...would it help or hurt morale in the US if they sent her back to the US? See what I mean? Unfortunately it looks like we've got amatuers running our "what to do with hot russian spy's" department.

Remember the hot Russian spy that we kicked out of the country? She just landed on the cover of Maxxim magazine. This is one of the problems with this country...it makes no sense to kick a girl like this out of the country. If she were your typical fat round faced russian broad I could understand it...but this? KEEPING her would have hurt the Russians more than deporting her.

Marissa Miller hugs the Giants mascot, giving him perfect cover for grabbing two big mascot handfuls of super-model butt...yet he did the honorable and selfless thing...he went high with the hands and let the photographer get a great shot to share with the rest of us. Someone needs to buy that man a beer.

NASCAR performs a pre-race stunt to suport the anti-drug group "DARE". Given that you'd have to be high to do something like this I'm not sure how effective the message was.

It was a tough call whether some of these girls should be on the cheerleading squad or the offensive line.

Clearly this wasn't a "missionary" trip.

9 out of 10 people can find the bad ass in this picture.

This picture of Diana Kruger is provided to make up for the pic of the Mannings below. Blogapova got some complaints about that one...don't say I'm not responsive people...you talk...I listen.

Uhh..dude...WTF? "How about I hold you by the hips and we rub belly buttons after the game?"

OMG...scientists have intercepted my dreams...a young Kathy Ireland on a beach full of lubricant.

Astronomers are stunned to discover that Venus has a moon.

Rema Fakih becomes the first Arab-American to win the Miss USA contest. This explains the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. If there are chicks like this covered up in burqa's anywhere in the world then we need to fight to free them. I think I speak on behalf of all servicemen when I say that I'd fight for that.

Oh HELL YEAH! THATS what I want in a Miss America contestant. This chick should win EVERY year automatically, the rest can compete for second place. Heck this should be the only event in the competition. Does anyone really care if she can play the piano or what her thougths are on imigration policy? No. The only thing people care about is seeing her undressed so lets skip the formalities, make this a 30 minute weekly show, and vote year round.

In addition to being the first Supreme Court Justice with no experience, Elena Kagan might be the first ugly "Elena" in history. I submit the following:

Elena Anaya:

Elena Dementieva:

Elena Gonzolez:

Even the Greeks can bring some heat here....Elena Paparizou:

And then there is Elena Kagan...if you put her in one of those Supreme Court robes she's gonna look like Belushi at a toga party in Animal House...was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

Elena Kagan has been nominated to be a supreme court justice. With no experience as a judge to back up her nomination to be one of the top judges in the nation, the conversation quickly spiraled downward to other less important topics. Here she describes how big she likes her sub sandwiches.

Being this fat and this ugly it's a darn good thing justice is blind. If you take the earrings off then she looks an awful lot like Dick Morris (the old Clinton advisor).

This seems like a strong response for a one-dog riot.

It's getting so bad in Greece that even the dogs are taking to the streets...and what kind of bad-ass dog is not only immune to tear gas...but rares up and takes it in?

Does this not look like Frankenstein?

Tony Stewart's team says they are having a difficult time figuring out why he's not winning races. I'll tell you why...it's because you've got Humpty Dumpty driving the car...hell...Weight Watchers should be Tony's new sponsor.

Major Leage Baseball introduces a new 7th inning stretch entertainment piece in an attempt to make baseball more interesting. It's free nacho's for the fan that makes it across the field without getting tasered.

Fans cheered wildly as the chase evolved. The first contestant Jimmy Rollins said "I wasn't prepared for the quickness of that tubby rent-a-cop...he's really got some foot speed and the taser adds a good 15 feet to his reach. When it hits you it's lights out...I got burn marks on my ass, a face full of grass...and no nachos".

Gary Coleman watches as President Obama signs Obamacare into existence.

Duuuuude....I would SO be spanking the monkey...

Democratic Representative Eric Massa is in trouble for groping and sexually harasssing male employees. Despite mounting evidence Massa insists that he is not gay.

He admits that he groped the male employee but that he did it to "tickle him until he couldn't breathe, then 4 guys jumped on top of me"...Dude...that is pretty gay...like WAY gay.

He went on to say that he has humped a few dudes in the butt before, but that it was just horsing around "like everyone does"...guys being guys so to speak. Then he asked the interviewer if he wanted the traditional post-interview hand-job...nothing gay about it...just tradition. When the interviewer refused he then jumped him, tickled him until he couldn't breathe and "snorkled" him.

Scientist are unsure why Sophia Loren begins to look more like Elton John the older she gets.

9 out of 10 riot police say that their worst fear is their balls catching on fire...it's gonna hurt and nobody is gonna blow it out for you.

Using a new MRI technique scientists were able to capture this image from the brain of a dreaming dog.

What an ass.

The Obama administration was able to find 5 doctors that agreed with the new health care bill...they said the total goes up to 6 if you count Dr. J who also agrees with it.

Porn star Tera Patrick is currently touring with the USO and said she was moved by how often service men said they take her picture to Iraq. She mis-heard...they said they take it to "my rack". This helps explain the sudden rise (no pun intended) in carpel tunnel syndrome among the troops.

It really amazes me that this one made it out of committee...much less got past the lawyers. We're gonna take a "KILLER whale", name it something cute like "Shamu", invite a live audience and put a human being in the tank with it.

Tiger Wood's press conference to announce his plan to deal with his sex addiction ends in a stunning failure as he attempts to make out with his own mom.

The White House treats the Dalai Lama like a fat chick on Saturday morning...hustle 'em out the back past the trash cans and hope nobody see's you together.

In perhaps the strongest measure yet taken to keep Bengal Tigers from extinction, they have begun learning Kung Fu.

Wow...I had no idea they gave out medals for being gay.

Where is a CIA Predator drone when you need one? Just LOOK at all the terrorists that are bunched up right here.

Dallas thinks their stadium is big because they can fit the statue of liberty in it...the Saints stadium is so big that this lady fit two super domes in it.