In light of the Supreme Courts recent affirmation of the 2nd Amendment, critics soundly agreed that if you don't like the 2nd amendment then you must not like this picture, and if you don't like this picture then you must be a homo.

Critics were delighted to learn that the Chinese would allow a Tibetan monk to carry the Olympic torch...then dismayed to find out how they lit it.

You know, the big cock jokes could be endless on this one...

Holy shit! A buck fifty-nine for regular!!!

Psychologists develop basic test that determines if a child will grow up gay or straight...this kid is clearly on the right track.

Abi Titmus ( I shit you not...that is her real name) poses for a picture at the 2008 World Poker Championship. When asked about her Poker Face, 9 out of 10 competitors said "Her face isn't the only thing I'd like to poke".

She also holds the record for most hands won with just a pair.

The hidden dangers of tennis: Croatia's Mario Ancic is down for the count after being drilled in the nuts by a 130 MPH serve...it hurt so bad that the line judge cried.

Capuchin monkeys are gaining popularity as helpers for the disabled. Jake Smith (right) says the monkey is a great helper, he can make sandwiches, get the paper, the only drawback is when he gets frustrated and throws his own feces at me.

Alright, here's the deal. The famous underwear model Adriana Lima will be in Memphis a lot to watch her gay boyfriend play basketball for the Grizzlies. If you want to keep seeing her in the Victorias Secret magazine you're going to have to help make sure she stays away from the BBQ joints, the chicken wing joints, the catfish places, etc.

If you see her eating ANY fried food just tell her she looks fat in whatever it is she's wearing at the time. Do your part to keep supermodels super.

Yep, the first gay couples are getting married in California and what better way to do it than dressing up as the Marlboro man...cause you know they'll both be puffing one tonight.

I apologize for the lack of recent activity...I was on vacation in Nerdistan.

8 billion cell phone cameras on the planet and these 5 couldn't come up with one? Hell this ESPN camera man was ALL OVER it. What are kids waiting on? I weep for our future.

Scooter riders are going to great lengths to convince themselves that they're not girlie men.

NASA has put it's 3rd robotic spacecraft on Mars, which is funny because for a group that claims UFO's don't exist they sure seem to be launching a lot of them.

After years of conflicting studies doctors now say they are preeeettty damn sure that alcohol does NOT kill cancer cells.

Strapped for cash, assisted living centers across the country are making the elderly fight to determine who receives the limited prescription drugs they have available.

In an effort to boost 2nd quarter sales Apple says if everyone buys an IPOD this month they'll take the next picture without it.

Abdul displays the new Summer-weight Jihad Mask (with nose slit). Insurgents across the middles east say you sacrifice some anonymity but it's much more comfortable than the old model. American snipers enjoy the mask as well because the nose slit allows for easier alignment of the vertical scope reticle.

Horses everywhere revolt over the treatment of Eight Belles at the Kentucky Derby.

TPC Afghanistan. "We can't play the back nine anymore due to landmines, there's usually a sniper on Hole 3, and I wouldn't play the Par 5 hole without air support, but you can always get a tee time."