Boston delays its new "Truckers on Cell Phones" lane after one day in operation.

In these times of rampant social change and the de-levering of traditional male/female roles in society we here at Blogapova feel that it might be useful to start a new column we call "Perfect Womanly Traits". Pictured is one such trait in action...the perfect woman has the temperment and ability to bring her man lots of cold beer on command. Blogapova salutes this young woman for being an example of all that is feminine.

How many men does it take to open a beer you ask?.......None, it should be open when she brings it to you.

To demonstrate the ease of the new colonostomy techniques Al Roker has his before and during pictures released on the today show.  

Journalists asked the female pilot of the space shuttle how difficult it is to dock with the International Space Station. She said "it's a little bit like parallel parking, so it took me about 5 hours, and then I just asked one of the guys to do it." 

Pope Benedict today called the religion of Islam "evil and inhuman". The muslims promptly responded by taking a violent protest to the streets, burning images of the pope, kidnapping 6 journalists, beheading 2 people, setting off 95 car bombs, beating women who were out of uniform, launching rockets into Israeli cities, and releasing a statement that the Islam is not violent and evil. They then called for the death of the pope and his zionist allies, the great satan (USA) and the little satan (Israel).

Asked about the turmoil the Pope explained that Cardinal Mahoney bet him $20 that he couldn't get the palestinians to burn their own cities.

The Palestinian version of Sesame Street has proven to be so successful that they are going to add more characters and include sessions on how to turn your tricycle into a bike bomb. 

Spains Rodrigo Marino blows a soccer ball out of his ass for the game winning goal against Turkey. 

The International Aquatic Animals union has adopted a new slogan "Put anatha barb in the aussie" 

Vienna's Petr Vorisek gets the elusive hat trick by kicking three balls at one time. 

Officials at the little league world series are receiving numerous complaints about the team being fielded, trained, and coached by Barry Bonds.  

Marylands Juan Dixon gets a 3 game suspension for giving Lonny Baxter a hickey after their win over Indiana. 

Afghanistan kicks off its first NASCAR race with the Haj 500. They plan to schedule more races in the future, and as their country develops they plan to use real cars instead of farm animals, and they had planned an exchange program for fans but all of the American fans cancelled their flights when they heard beer was against the law. 

Prince Harry, in a game of one-upsmanship, shows former President Clinton how it's done. "This isn't some chubby intern you wanker, the Prince of England gets more ass than a toilet seat, so bugger off Clinton"

A palestinian rifle squad in combat. Standard issue gear is one hat, one rifle, and no hearing protection. When the first guy gets shot, the second guy gets the rifle and the hat.

Scientists use the latest genetic engineering techniques to create the worlds first cloned Sasquatch. Lead scientist Turd Ferguson says "They are rarely seen in the wild because, contrary to popular belief, they don't get much bigger than this." 

We had a clairvoyant read Donald Trumps mind during a recent photo shoot.
"I'm an old man...and I'm nailing her...you're fired"

Lance Bass is in training to become an Ass-tronaut, he'd like to be the first man to go to Uranus.

I'm not sure what's going on here but ever since that gay cowboy movie came out things have been crazy in the midwest. 

Zoologists say this is very unusual behavior, panda's don't usually attack two on 1.  

Mel Gibson is diagnosed with Alco-hitler-zheimers, a disease where you can't remember that you hate Jews until you're drunk.