"I'd like to start my congressional testimony by saying that...look...I really don't have any idea of what I'm doing in this job. I never was the president of princetons economics department, I was the proof reader for economics club weekly newsletter. I saw the damned ad for the FOMC Chairman spot in the classified section of the newsletter and the rest kind of snowballed from there.

I've just been kind of winging it. I wanted to lower rates 500 basis points this morning just to get everyone off my case but the guys told me we couldn't go that low...like mathematically we just couldn't get there.

So, I guess if you guys want me to stay, I'll stay. Balls in your court. I'm gonna go drop a duece and burn one...I'll be back in about 30 minutes"