Secret Service agents are baffled by a mystery sniper who trains his laser scope on the President of India everywhere she goes. They can't figure out how he has such steady aim, and covers her from all directions...much less why he hasn't pulled the trigger yet.

Florida State Representative and McCain supporter has been arrested for solicitation for prostitution...in the MENS rooms. He was trying to pull a George Michael and offered his services to an udercover officer for $20.

Upon his arrest he first claimed "I'm on John McCains staff" which didn't sound very good considering the circumstances. Then he claimed he was just trying to take a poll and the officer reminded him that is exactly why he was arrested...trying to take a pole for 20 bucks.

In a classic Freudean slip Prince Charles welcomes a young lass to "Fuckingham Palace".

Fox has a new hit show called "Animal Trainers that didn't learn anything from that big-white-killer-tiger that ate the Sigfried and Roy guys head".

Ahhh yes, which Palestinian doesn't remember playing cowboys and infidels as a child?

Hundreds of male fans were disappointed after they showed up for Sharipovas "sign your big balls" event.

After months of shenanigans and bad behavior, the Polar Bear cub at the Frankfurt zoo is put before the firing squad.

The Clintons say they have moved past all the scandals and are as happy as they've ever been. "Oh Bill! Remember that time you blew your wad on the chubby intern? Oh what a hoot!"

"Yes, Yes I recall....I do recall."

Recent surveys show that most American men are in favor of swapping female candidates with Argentina. The plan has the express backing of former President Bill Clinton.

The survey also pointed out the 9 times out of 10 when looking at a picture of the Argentinian candidate men experienced a Freudian slip pronouncing the electoral process as the "erection" versus "election".

If the Argentinian candidate is elected we will re-name the Oval office to the "Hourglass" office...sadly, if Hillary is elected we will rename it the "pear shaped thunder thigh office".