Frederica Faella takes advantage of figure skatings new rules aimed at boosting viewship of the European Figure Skating Championships and delivers a stunning Pile-Driver on her partner Mossimo Scali. Scali while upset by the move, says it does bring more fans to the table, but admits it will take some work to rebuild the trust he once shared with Frederica.

Ivanka Trump, daughter of real estate tycoon Donald Trump, unveils her own rendition of the twin towers.

Last night, in a show of solidarity, ever illegal alien in Los Angeles lit a candle.

"You dated RINGOFFER? RINGOFFER? Dang lady you're nastier than I thought. Without that bra you'd actually look alike."

These Hindu ceremonies make the Catholic priests look tame. 

Cal Ripken and Fat Albert were inducted into the baseball hall of fame today.

It takes a village to raise a child...but it takes an AC130 to Raze a village. 

From the Hero to Zero column: Returning the opening kick-off of the BCS championship for a touchdown has got to be a million dollar experience. Hurting yourself so badly during the ensuing celebration that you can't play the rest of the game and you have to watch your team get savaged by the underdog because your dumb-ass wanted to dance in the end-zone on national TV for self glorification is priceless. We need two new awards in football...The Terrel Owens award for the player that is good but is too much of a liability to really have on the team; and the Ted Ginn award for excessive celebration of an athletic accomplishment resulting in injury.

Stephen Hawking has announced that he wants to fly in space. NASA has responded by saying thats cool, as long as he can pass all the tests...so if he can run 3 miles in under 20 minutes, do 80 situps in 2 minutes, and do 20 pullups then he's on the next flight because the shuttle ain't got no handicapped ramp.  

The irony is that they're all talking to each other...thats just how it's done nowadays. 

I do not understand how 5 years into a war on terror...this place has not been bombed. 

The desire to win knows no bounds. Jerry Connors face-plants his 3 year old grandson to take one all the way at their backyard Christmas day football game. To make things worse the old man did an end-zone dance and told the kid he had no game.

On his last day before retiring NFL official Carl Maddeson lays a heavy lick on Jacksonvilles Alvin Pearman, stripping the ball in the process. " I always wanted to play, I knew I could play" Maddeson said in an interview afterward "but every Sunday I had to stand there and watch...damn did that feel good laying him out". After the play Pearman got up and broke the old mans hip. 

Kung Fooze Ball is growing in popularity as the decline in action films leaves more and more Kung Fu practitioners out of work.  

Using high speed digital photography scientists for the first time capture the exact moment in time that a can of whoop ass gets opened. 

It is a scientific fact that nothing will drop a man faster than a 120 MPH puck to the nuts.