In a recent Zogby poll 80% of restaurant employees agreed it is not a good idea to be rude to your waiter. One more glass for table three please...and make it a "Pee-no" Noir.

The U.S. military, barred from using any form of physical duress to get information out of terrorists; is forced to write embarrassing slogans on them to shame them into giving up the info. The Marines admit that success has been limited, and they may have to go back to beating people.  

$100 if you can find a beer or a woman in this picture.... 

In a scene that never made the final cut Yoda shows young Luke Skywalker how to perform the "Jedi from behind" trick. 

In a misguided effort to draw more arab-americans to the ballpark the Iowa Cubs host "Abu-Graib" night featuring a manpile between each inning.  

Tour de France had high hopes for it's first ever narcoleptic cyclist. Critics had mulled him as a potential sleeper in this event...

Major corporations around the country experienced widespread system failures as their IT departments bailed out and headed for Revenge of the Sith. 

Hardee's has Paris Hilton in new burger commercial. Spokesman Tom Smith acknowledges that Paris doesn't maintain her figure by eating at Hardee's, but adds that it's not much of a stretch for her to be on film with a fist full of meat.  

Rayisha Ghandi tries to figure out who farted during her annual address at the Curry Convention.  

The New Zealand Highlanders complain that the umpires aren't doing enough to stop the harrassment from the leagues first all gay rugby team. Winger Tom Stanton says "I can't so much as pick up the ball without one of them trying to snatch my britches down and give me a spanking!"

45 year old Palestinian laborer credits smoking for his youthful appearance.  

Jockey Matt McCarron was a favorite to win the 10th annual Queens Cup Steeplechase in Mineral Springs North Carolina until he pulled a "Christopher Reeves" just shy of the finish line. 

Indian soldiers rehearsing for the "Know your Army" exhibition. Somebody needs to ask the Indians who they expect to conquer with this skill. 

East Germany may have fallen...but it's impact on female sports may live forever.... 

What Greco-Roman wrestling looks like at the Gay Olympics. 

Discovery Channels show "Pimp my Ride" has proven so successful that they have shipped the concept overseas. Shown is a picture from the Malaysian show "Pimp my Boat".